A Patriotic Response To The “Clown Prince;” 03/17/2012
barackingham Palace,
District of Corruption
March 17, 2012
As I’m sure you’ve noticed over the past few weeks, the price at your local pump has been going up and up. And because it’s an election year, so has the temperature of our political rhetoric. What matters most to me right now is the impact that rising prices have on you. When you’ve got to spend more on gas, you’ve got less to spend on everything else. It makes things harder. So I wanted to take a minute this weekend to explain what steps my Administration is taking when it comes to energy – most importantly, producing more of it while using less of it. The truth is: the price of gas depends on a lot of factors that are often beyond our control. Unrest in the Middle East can tighten global oil supply. Growing nations like China or India adding cars to the road increases demand. But one thing we should control is fraud and manipulation that can cause prices to spike even further. For years, traders at financial firms were able to game the energy markets, distort the price of oil, and make big profits for themselves at your expense. And they were able to do all that because of major gaps and loopholes in our regulations. When I took office, we did something about it. The Wall Street reforms I signed into law are helping bring energy markets out of the shadows and under real oversight. They’re strengthening our ability to go after fraud and to prevent traders from manipulating the market. So it’s not just wrong, but dangerous that some in Congress want to roll back those protections and return to the days when companies like Enron could avoid regulation and reap enormous profits, no matter who it hurt. What’s more, at a time when big oil companies are making more money than ever before, we’re still giving them $4 billion of your tax dollars in subsidies every year. Your member of Congress should be fighting for you. Not for big financial firms. Not for big oil companies.
[What I’m not telling you: Good morning, subjects. As you’re well aware by now, I’m always ready-and-willing to claim credit whether my decisions are responsible for the actions or not. To that end, I’m claiming credit for the fuel prices’ advance, both of late as well as over the l-o-n-g term of my reign. As the blogosphere is rightfully claiming–under my tutelage–the national average gas prices are up nearly 110%—with diesel prices up over 90%–since my immaculation.
The sources required to ‘feed’ the United States’ demand for oil are truly worldwide. I’ve been on the phone, begging those middle-east oil producers to boost production in an effort to start a downward cycle of U.S. gas and diesel prices. The truth is–and ya better bookmark this, ‘truth’ is not a prevailing conception for me–Canada is the largest supplier of oil to the United States. After acting against creating 15,000-25,000 short-term jobs; against creating upwards of 200,000 long-term, permanent jobs by refusing to approve the “Keystone XL” Pipeline project, the Canadian government seems to be making good on it’s promise. See, I make idle threats almost daily and as such, I don’t expect people to take them seriously. I’m finding the ‘Canadian mindset’ isn’t the same, they don’t make idle threats!!
The net affect of the loss of the “Keystone XL Pipeline” is Canada has lost the U.S. Gulf Coast as a ‘customer’ for their oil. At the time the tree-huggers protested the pipeline and I came down on their side, the Canadian government assured us they’d pipe the oil to the Canadian west coast and ship it to China. So, my decision on the pipeline project had a two-fold negative decision: not only did Americans lose this source of good-paying, permanent jobs, the country lost the Albertan oil as a source to feed our ever-growing energy demands.
This brings up the area of ‘commodities trading.’ To explain the entire system–which I just learned the intricacies of, yesterday–would take several hours and many pages. I’ll try to explain what very little I know about this market. A ‘commodity’ is an item of value which can be traded on markets created for each ‘commodity.’
Some of the more actively traded commodities are: gold, silver, diamonds, platinum, crude oil, heating oil, gasoline, coffee, wheat, corn, maize, oats, rice, soybeans, beef, live cattle, pork, eggs, cocoa, butter, orange juice, sugar, aluminum, nickel, copper, lead, ferrous scrap metal, plastic, natural gas and–w-h-e-w!!–bio-fuels, just to name a partial list.
These various ‘commodities’ are traded on markets such as the New York Mercantile Exchange, the Dubai Mercantile Exchange, the Central Japan Commodity Exchange, the New York Board of Trade, the Kansai Commodities Exchange, the Singapore Commodities Exchange, Euronext (London), the Chicago Board of Trade, the Risk Management Exchange, the Minneapolis Grain Exchange, the Winnipeg Commodity Exchange, the Tokyo Grain Exchange, the London Metal Exchange, the Shanghai Futures Exchange, the Hedgestreet Exchange (California), the Brazilian Mercantile and Futures Exchange, the Dubai Gold and Commodities Exchange, the National Commodities Exchange Limited (Pakistan), the Dalian Community Exchange (China) and–again, w-h-e-w!!–the Bursa Malaysia.
Some of these many traders actually create markets for various commodities, where none previously existed–a truly valuable service. Although I’m currently trying to vilify the various petroleum traders who–I say–drive up prices, actually may reduce prices, given the demand or lack thereof. With the expulsion of the “Keystone XL Pipeline“–and by extension, Canada–I have–consciously or unconsciously–driven up the gas prices for my subjects.
[WHEW!! I went way off-teleprompter, there!!!]
OK boys and girls, back to the original topic as programmed into the teleprompter: We have to continue to vilify that evil ‘Big Oil!” I contend that this $4 Billion in subsidies is a huge amount for the American taxpayer to shoulder. Bull-SHIT!! To gain the proper perspective, compare said subsidy to the national debt of say….15.5 TRILLION dollars. The 4 BILLION dollar subsidy is but .000258% (commonly spoken, it’s: two-hundred, fifty-eight… hundred-thousandths of a single percentage-point!!! ….4 billion divided by 15,500 billion) I suppose one can say that the national debt–and related borrowing; and related SPENDING–has a 25,800,000 times greater NEGATIVE affect on fuel prices than does the miniscule subsidy to that evil ‘Big Oil!!’]
In the next few weeks, I expect Congress to vote on ending these subsidies. And when they do, we’re going to put every single Member of Congress on record: They can either stand up for oil companies, or they can stand up for the American people. They can either place their bets on a fossil fuel from the last century, or they can place their bets on America’s future. So make your voice heard. Send your representative an email. Give them a call. Tell them to stand with you. And tell them to be honest with you. It’s easy to promise a quick fix when it comes to gas prices. There just isn’t one. Anyone who tells you otherwise – any career politician who promises some three-point plan for two-dollar gas – they’re not looking for a solution. They’re just looking for your vote. If we’re truly going to make sure we’re not at the mercy of spikes in gas prices every year, the answer isn’t just to drill more – because we’re already drilling more. Under my Administration, we’re producing more oil here at home than at any time in the last eight years, that’s a fact. We’ve quadrupled the number of operating oil rigs to a record high, that’s a fact. And we’ve opened millions of acres on land and offshore to develop more of our domestic resources. Those are the facts. But we can’t just rely on drilling. Not when we use more than 20 percent of the world’s oil, but still only have 2 percent of the world’s known oil reserves. If we don’t develop other sources of energy, and the technology to use less energy, we’ll continue to be dependent on foreign countries for our energy needs. That’s why we’re pursuing an all-of-the-above strategy. As we develop more oil and gas, we’re also developing wind and solar power; biofuels, and next-generation vehicles – and thousands of Americans have jobs right now because of it. We need to keep making those investments – because I don’t want to see those jobs go to other countries. I want to create even more of them right here in America. And after three decades of inaction, we raised fuel economy standards so that by the middle of the next decade, our cars will average nearly 55 miles per gallon. That’s nearly double what they get today. That means you’ll only have to fill up every two weeks instead of every week. And that will save the typical family more than $8,000 over the life of the car – just by using less gas. Combined, these steps have helped put us on a path to greater energy independence. Since I took office, America’s dependence on foreign oil has gone down every single year. In 2010, for the first time in 13 years, less than half the oil we used came from foreign countries. We can do even better. And we will. But what we can’t do is keep being dependent on other countries for our energy needs. In America we control our own destiny. So that’s the choice we face – the past, or the future. And America is what it is today because we have always placed our bets on the future.
[What I’m not telling you: You SHOULD contact your members of Congress!! Were I in your position, I’d demand they keep the subsidies to the evil ‘Big Oil‘ companies in force. To remove said subsidies is tatamount to an added tax on the American driver!! In the whole scheme of things, ending said subsidies and putting that $4 Billion back into the general fund is to give me more money to piss away; more money with which to reward my supporters and donors!!
My support of–nay, DEMAND for–green energy development is ludicruis on it’s face!! As they currently stand, each segment of ‘green’ energy is unsustainable without federal subsidies!! Why are ‘green’ energy subsidies the way to go, while subsidies to that evil ‘Big Oil’ is not?!? We have a 250-year supply of fossil fuels at current demand levels. We have no–proven workable–supply of the various ‘green’ energy sources!!
As that evil Limbaugh is wont to say–and I paraphrase, I don’t OPENLY listen to him—
“When ‘green’ energy can get an airliner to 30,000 feet, I’m all for it!!
(or something like that)”
Prior to my immaculation–prior to the formation of my regime–there was a long-standing ‘nationalism’ mindset. This United States is the country that won two world wars; who provided most of the materiel for said wars; completely rebuilt entire countries we had necessarily destroyed to prevent just the socio-fascist government that I represent!! In just a few, short, recent years, the country has evolved into an “I, me, my” society with no regard for our neighbors, or any others we interact with in our daily lives!! I feel responsible for that. NO…. I am the reason for that mindset, all a part of my devisive, derisive governance. Divide-and-conquer is the mindset that one country uses as both and offense and a defense against OUTSIDERS! I use it as a successful method in promoting–accomplishing–my ‘class’ warfare among the ‘commoners.’ Rather than me continuing to explain an untenible governing position, far more information can be gleaned from reading: http://justincase505.blogspot.com/2012/03/thisnthat-march-sixteenth-1-more.html
This is an explanation of my unremarkable remarks read at the Prince Georges Community College, Largo Maryland. Suffice it to say, that blather was geared to those impressionable young minds not yet converted to socio-fascism.
In conclusion: Beyond pure vilification, there’s little sensible reason to continue to attack that evil “Big Oil;” those evil commodities traders!! If it makes sense to ‘go after’ these two sectors of commerce, the same reasoning would justify a tax on…. investment in gold bullion, for example. NO, you say?!? That resounding statement seems to be coming from my supporters, controllers!!
An aside: Do you know the definition of ‘arschloch?!?’ It’s german for @$$hole!! To those bloggers–you know who you are–I take offense to being assigned that label!! I am NOT German!! I am a muslim Asshole!!!]
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