I Call It Discipline!
We’ve all seen the video of Toya Graham “thumpin'” her young son after catching him on TV, throwing bricks during the Baltimore riots.
Here’s Rush Limbaugh‘s take on the subject:
Now, here’s my take on the subject, with a bit of background:
I’ve been married several times~with the exception of the first~into ‘ready-made’ families. Anyone who’s done it knows there’s a pretty steep learning curve with the involved kids.
One of the families involved three kids: boy-16, boy-12, girl-9. The 12 year-old was just one’a those kids that’s constantly testing authority, either by nature or by choice…. Dunno which!!
[Just to preserve anonymity, I’ll call him “Gary” after his birth-father.]
- Example #1: Summertime; Saturday; late morning, early-mid afternoon. “Gary” had come into the kitchen, having finished mowing the lawn. He and his Mom got into a discussion about the next project. Out’a the clear blue sky~after giving her plenty of lip~“Gary” pulled back a fist as if to punch his mother. My defensive nature kicked in and I pinned him against the kitchen wall by his armpits: “You can treat your mother any way you want, but nobody treats my my wife that way!” He dropped in a heap on the floor, becoming very emotional. As things seemed to return to normal, “Gary” grabbed a piece of fruit and ate it in the backyard. When he came back into the house, he couldn’t remember the previous ‘dust-up..’ Later we found that “Gary” was prone to hypoglycemia [low blood-glucose levels] if he didn’t maintain a proper diet!!
- Example #2: “Gary,” his sister and I were in the front yard. He and I heatedly discussed a project I wanted done in the back yard. To quell the kerfuffle, I used a ‘hip-throw’ that put “Gary” on his back.. “..lookin’ up, wondering how the hell he got there!” As I recall, the project was completed.
- Example #3: In western New York State where we lived at the time, high schools normally graduate their seniors sometime during the third week in June. A couple of months prior to his graduation, “Gary” and his Mom were discussing his possible future endeavors. He thought he’d take a couple of years ‘off’ and find himself before doing anything serious. He planned on finding a job at the local creamery which was across the street and through a couple of back lots and I presume hang out with his buds and a certain amount of ‘partying.’ I suggested that he also find a place to live, “cuz it ain’t gonna be here!”
Now, was the aforementioned ‘discipline’ or was it ‘cruelty?’ I contend that both Toya Graham and I dispensed DISCIPLINE! In my case, had I not disciplined “Gary,” would he have:
- become a~Purple Heart, Bronze Star~decorated, battle-hardened US Army Ranger?
- continued with his part-time education, ending with a bachelor’s degree?
- become the father of a fine young man, himself a current college student?
- continued on his law enforcement career path into the federal level?
I think not.
Discipline must be meted out necessarily, fairly, never in anger and NEVER DEVOLVE into cruelty.