A Patriotic Response to the “Clown Prince;” 03/16/2013

Argonne National Laboratory,

Lamont, Ill.,

March 16, 2013

As a nation, our top priority is growing our economy and creating good middle  class jobs.  That’s why this week I’m speaking to you from the Argonne National  Laboratory in Illinois, because few areas hold as much promise as what they’re  focused on right here – harnessing American energy.  You see, after years of talking about it, we’re finally poised to take  control of our energy future.  We produce more oil than we have in 15 years.  We  import less oil than we have in 20 years.  We’ve doubled the amount of renewable  energy we generate from sources like wind and solar – with tens of thousands of  good jobs to show for it.  We’re producing more natural gas than ever before – with hundreds of thousands of good jobs to show for it.  We’ve supported the  first new nuclear power plant since the 1970s.  And we’re sending less carbon  pollution into the environment than we have in nearly 20 years.  So we’re making real progress.  But over the past few weeks, we got a  reminder that we need to do more.  We went through another spike in gas prices,  just like last year, and the year before that.  It happens every year.  It’s a  serious blow to your budget – like getting hit with a new tax coming right out  of your pocket.  Over the past four years, as part of our all-of-the-above energy strategy,  we’ve taken steps to soften that blow by making sure our cars use less gas.   We’ve put in place the toughest fuel economy standards in our history so that by  the middle of the next decade, our cars will go twice as far on a gallon of  gas.  Over the life of a new car, the average family will save more than $8,000  at the pump.

But the only way we’re going to break this cycle of spiking gas prices for  good is to shift our cars and trucks off of oil for good.  That’s why, in my  State of the Union Address, I called on Congress to set up an Energy Security  Trust to fund research into new technologies that will help us reach that  goal.

[What I’m not telling you:  Good Morning to the few actual Americans listening and watching; to the few illegal aliens understanding english as well as those spying foreign nationals imbedded in American society!  Speaking of imbedded spies, don’cha just love that show: “Americans?!?”  I’m so glad to be lying to you from the Argonne National Labratory, near my favorite Mafia Home of Chicago.  They can always be counted upon to throw an election or two if I need one; Thanks, guys!!

    To start with: everyone in the District of Corruption is either cheering or whining about the devastating consequences of Secastration Sequestration.  These cuts are only devastating because the regime says they’re devastating!!  Just more of my ‘minute-by-minute’ bald-faced lies!

Sidebar:  We’re still mulling over the Eric Bolling suggestion that he (and Sean Hannity, among others) fund a re-opening of barackingham Palace for the children’s visits.  Mr Bolling‘s offer has gained far more traction with the general public than the regime’s PAINFUL palace-closing has gained with the low-information voter; with the welfareRAT-class!

    Actually, what I’m proposing is the umpteenth round of wasting thousands-of-millions of dollars in payoffs to my ‘buds’ in the form of subsidies to alternative energy companies, investors!!  We know how well that worked previously:  Can anyone spell SOLYNDRA?!?  Let’s take the aforementioned paragraph of my weekly blather, point-by-point:

1.    We produce more oil than we have in 15 years the vast percentage of that production is on PRIVATE LANDS, where the regime has no control.

2.    We  import less oil than we have in 20 years many thanks to huge production from the aforementioned PRIVATE LANDS.

3.    We’ve doubled the amount of renewable  energy we generate from sources like wind and solar – with tens of thousands of  good jobs to show for it  Example: 1 watt to 2 watts is doubling; 1 KW to 2 KW is doubling as well.  To say–without supporting facts–something has doubled is just more of my weekly obamanomical bullshit!  Those tens-of-thousands of good jobs is another matter of perception.

4.  We’re producing more natural gas than ever before – with hundreds of thousands of good jobs to show for it.  AGAIN-Thank Allah for the production on those PRIVATE LANDS.  AGAIN-“good” jobs numbers are another matter of perception.

5.  We’ve put in place the toughest fuel economy standards in our history… and in doing so, have mandated the most UNSAFE vehicles ever produced in the American Realm.  When the point arrives that fuel economy can not be wringed out of the drive train, then weight must be wringed out of the body and frame.  Think about it!!  Less protection for the driver and occupants.

   Setting up an “Energy Security Trust” will be another in a long list of failed proposals like ‘secastration.’  Notice how–even though it was initially my idea–I’m not taking any credit for secastration.  When the “Energy Security Trust” fails, it will be those evil Republicians’ fault!  This has to be one of the worst ideas I’ve had in some time.  With no budget in force–thanks to the Senate obamacratics–it’s just ludicrus to believe there’s some money, somewhere, to fund this wasteful moneypit!!]

Here’s how it would work.  Much of our energy is drawn from lands and waters  that we, the public, own together.  So I’m proposing that we take some of our  oil and gas revenues from public lands and put it towards research that will  benefit the public, so that we can support American ingenuity without adding a  dime to our deficit.  We can support scientists who are designing new engines  that are more energy efficient; developing cheaper batteries that go farther on  a single charge; and devising new ways to fuel our cars and trucks with new  sources of clean energy – like advanced biofuels and natural gas – so drivers  can one day go coast-to-coast without using a drop of oil.

Now, this idea isn’t mine.  It’s actually built off a proposal put forward by  a non-partisan coalition of CEOs and retired generals and admirals.  So let’s  take their advice and free our families and our businesses from painful spikes  in gas prices once and for all.  And in the meantime, let’s keep moving forward on an all-of-the-above energy  strategy.  A strategy where we produce more oil and gas here at home, but also  more biofuels and fuel-efficient vehicles; more solar power and wind power.  A  strategy where we put more people to work building cars, homes and businesses  that waste less energy.  We can do this.  We’re Americans.  And when we commit  ourselves to something, there’s no telling how far we’ll go. 

[What I’m not telling you:  Remember this:  As I blather on about producing more gas and oil at home, it was I, your exalted ruler who put the Keystone XL pipeline in the dumper!!  I can blather on and on about all this energy bullshit but suffice it to say:  When Air Farce One is solar- and/or wind-powered, I will have made my point on alternative energy sources.  Til then, the whole topic is mere bullshit until the PRIVATE research and funding as made the whole topic a reality!!]