A Patriotic Response to the “Clown Prince;” 02/23/2013

barackingham Palace,

District of Corruption

February 23, 2013

Our top priority as a country right now should be doing everything we can to  grow our economy and create good, middle class jobs.  And yet, less than one week from now, Congress is poised to allow a series of  arbitrary, automatic budget cuts that will do the exact opposite.  They will  slow our economy.  They will eliminate good jobs.  They will leave many families  who are already stretched to the limit scrambling to figure out what to do.  But here’s the thing: these cuts don’t have to happen.  Congress can turn  them off anytime with just a little compromise.  They can pass a balanced plan  for deficit reduction.  They can cut spending in a smart way, and close wasteful  tax loopholes for the well-off and well-connected.  Unfortunately, it appears that Republicans in Congress have decided that  instead of compromising – instead of asking anything of the wealthiest Americans – they would rather let these cuts fall squarely on the middle class.  Here’s what that choice means.  Once these cuts take effect, thousands of  teachers and educators will be laid off, and tens of thousands of parents will  have to scramble to find child care for their kids.  Air traffic controllers and  airport security will see cutbacks, causing delays across the country.  Even  President Bush’s director of the National Institutes of Health says these cuts  will set back medical science for a generation.  Already, the threat of these cuts has forced the Navy to delay the deployment  of an aircraft carrier to the Persian Gulf – affecting our ability to respond to  threats in an unstable part of the world.  And just this week, the Pentagon  announced that if these cuts go through, almost 800,000 defense employees – the  equivalent of every person in Miami and Cleveland combined – will be forced to  take unpaid leave.

[What I’m not telling you: Whew-e-e-e!!  Have I done it this time, or what?!?  I’ve managed to talk myself into a corner that will be terribly difficult to LIE MY WAY OUT OF–even with my many gross mis-characterizations of republicRATics–but here goes.

    There’s not “a dime’s worth of difference” between the republicRATics and the obamacRATics, they’re both out for self-aggrandisement, increased financial self-worth; both at the expense of those who put them into office, myself included.  The only difference between those politicians and me is that I had a greater pool of dead voters with which to draw from; with which to pay for!  We all tell the populus what they want to hear in support of what ever program one side likes; the other side doesn’t like.  Most politicians–again, myself included–twist the facts to suit; tell you the half-the-facts that suit their side of the argument!

    OK, now on to the sequestration issue.  I–your exalted ruler–devised this silly, essentially unworkable, piece of bullshit!  It was my plan to put all issues ‘military’ at risk, knowing full-well that republicRATics and their constituents rely on the military-industrial complex to ‘bring-the-pork-home’ to their districts.  Given that, the republicRATics would hurry to the table, to cave-in to my demands at the necessary time.  That didn’t work so well; the republicRATics demanded that several entitlement programs be included on the obamunists’ side of the compromise; I had to cave!!  Now we’re at the point where ‘the-rubber-meets-the-penis’ and someone has to bend to the will of the other side; so far as I’m concerned, “it ain’t gonna be the socio-fascistic obamunists!!” This requires a tactic that I’m very familiar with; that I’m very proficient at using:  The bald-faced lie!!

1.  This is my “not-so-well-thoughtout” plan, no one else’s.

2.  There are NO ACTUAL CUTS IN FUNDING; only cuts in RATE OF INCREASE of each bugeted item; essentially NO ONE is effected until the next budget is written; likely four-years, hence.

3.  What we’re talking about here is around $86 Billion; half military, half entitlements.  Said funds are approximately one-week’s federal spending and how much of an annual increase.  Yup!!  That’s all we’re “pissing and moaning” about!!

4.  All this ‘loss of jobs; massive layoffs’ won’t amount to a pinch of shit!!’  All federal employees will have their paychecks replenished at the first payday after they return to work. So much for my “unpaid leave” statement!!  Remember: I told you how much I enjoyed lying and how good I can lie!!

5.  How in the hell is this even possible:  The Director of the National Institutes of Health says essentially that the DELAY of one-week’s federal spending will set medical science back a full generation!  This guy’s gotta be as stupid as most of my regime!!

6.  Reality suggests that if we can DELAY one-week’s pay to 800,000 Pentagon employees; then the Pentagon workforce is so bloated as to be unnecessary!

    See how ludicrus all this whining over a week’s federal spending actually is?!?  The federal budget is so bloated now that this $86 Billion SHOULD BE THE MONTHLY FEDERAL BUDGET REDUCTION; MONTHLY!!]

That’s what this choice means.  Are Republicans in Congress really willing to  let these cuts fall on our kids’ schools and mental health care just to protect  tax loopholes for corporate jet owners?  Are they really willing to slash  military health care and the border patrol just because they refuse to eliminate  tax breaks for big oil companies?  Are they seriously prepared to inflict more  pain on the middle class because they refuse to ask anything more of those at  the very top?  These are the questions Republicans in Congress need to ask themselves.  And  I’m hopeful they’ll change their minds.  Because the American people have worked  too hard for too long to see everything they’ve built undone by partisan  recklessness in Washington.  I believe we should work together to build on the more than $2.5 trillion in  deficit reduction we’ve already achieved.  But I believe we should do it in a  balanced way – with smart spending cuts, entitlement reform, and tax reform.  That’s my plan.  It’s got tough cuts, tough reforms, and asks more of the  wealthiest Americans. It’s on the White House website for everyone to see.  And  it requires Democrats and Republicans to meet half way to resolve the problem.   That’s what the American people expect. And that’s what you deserve.  We just need Republicans in Washington to come around.  Because we need their  help to finish the job of reducing our deficit in a smart way that doesn’t hurt  our economy or our people.  After all, as we learned in the 1990s, nothing  shrinks the deficit faster than a growing economy that creates good,  middle-class jobs.  That has to be our driving focus.  That has to be our North  Star.  Making America a magnet for good jobs.  Equipping our people with the  skills required to fill those jobs.  Making sure your hard work leads to a  decent living.  That’s what this city should be focused on like a laser.  And  I’m going to keep pushing folks here to remember that.

[What I’m not telling you:  Here we go!!  Now is where I interject “the kids; the children; the mentally ill, etc., to tug on the public’s heartstrings!!  Has anyone forgotten:  I raised taxes on EVERYONE in the country, last month…. strangely after the 2012 elections purchased for me!!  Honestly, I’ve done everything The Bilderberg Group has suggested for the economic and governmental destruction of the United States as we you know it.  Both the citizenry and the opposition party have demonstrated a great resilience to said destruction.  If the population should remember–if the low information voter should learn–anything, it must be the destructive forces already attempted or instilled in the legislative process:

1.  The attempt of Cap-and-Trade legislation.

2.  The attempt to prop-up the solar energy production sector with billions in subsidies that–in reality–were nothing more than payoffs to supporters, donors, campaign workers.

3.  Industry bailouts.

4.  Extreme subsidies to aid GM in the ‘unloading’ of Volt autos.  Even $10,000 per purchase wasn’t enough incentive to avoid a summer factory shut-down.

5.  Ongoing failure to take any advice from any advisory panels I’ve set up for public consumption.

6.  Remember those 587 voters between the ages of 100 and 112 that voted for me in North Carolina?!?

7.  The opulent vacations, the “golfing-with-the-stars” excursions, the incessant “campaign” trips all over the country to avoid being seen actually governing.

Finally:  it’s the willy-nilly spending by the socio-fascist obamunists that are destroying the country as you know it!!  I–and those in my class–will always survive in the opulence we’ve become accustomed to!!  As an example: have you noticed how little time I spend in barackingham Palace?!?  I’m always flying to some paid assemblage to blather at; travelling at a cost of $180,000 PER HOUR!!  How’s that for opulence?!?  Next time: Maybe a kiss before the screwing!!]